Back to Basics...wedding stuff

Cadiz12 is planning her wedding to H while working full time. She's got the basics down, but is a self proclaimed procrastinator. Since I'm not working full time yet and itching to work on some kind of project, I've adopted her wedding (as long as she lets me, that is).

Recently we were talking about what to do about the 'Getaway' or the post ceremony toss of stuff. You know that time after the ceremony where guests line up, blow bubbles, throw rice, birdseed, shaped sugar heart rice or even light up sparklers. Bubbles may stain clothing and end up in the hands of mostly small children which would detract from the overall effect you may have been aiming for. Contrary to popular belief, birds won't choke on rice; it is more likely your guests will slip and fall. Birdseed can attract birds (and their poop) before your party is over. The sugar rice is a nice alternative in that it dissolves in the rain, but it might just get sticky if thrown indoors. Cadiz informs me that sparklers are illegal in the State of Illinois so that won't work.

I've read about brides using dried flower buds on theknot. Herbs and Flowers have held meaning for various brides around the world. Here's a selected list of flowers/herbs and their meanings from iFlorist:

Almond- Virginity & Fruitfulness
Allspice - Worth Beyond Beauty
Apricot Blossom - Timid Love
Cinnamon - Love and Beauty
Clove - Dignity and Restraint
Fennel - Strength
Jasmine (white) - Amiability & Cheerfulness
Lavender - Constancy
Lotus - Mystery & Truth
Rosemary - Fidelity & Loyalty
Spearmint - Warmth of Sentiment
Tulip - Symbol of Perfect Lover
Yarrow - Healing
Here's the rest of the list

I vote for Dried Jasmine Flower Buds or Lavender Rice both available through wedding/craft vendors on line. Both are inexpensive, smell yummy and organic - no messy clean up! Since she's getting married in the same venue as the reception, guests will be able to enjoy the scent for the evening. Either scent can be incorporated into the rest of wedding details including invitations, flower arrangements, favors and decor quite easily. The jasmine would be a nice nod to Cadiz12's Godmother (my aunt) who is an avid flower gardener. I am leaning towards Jasmine since we are Indian, and not French...not that it would matter either way, because H could be French, but he could also hate Lavender (still waiting for the verdict).

Jasmine can be quite potent so it might be nice to make a blend of dried buds/herbs to create a signature wedding scent. Using a thali, stainless steal platter with raised edges, to display a variety of selected herbs and their meanings, guests could select their own combination of wishes to bestow on the bride and groom. An alternative is to mix them together and indicate on the program what the individual ingredients symbolize. Author, Geraldine Adamich Laufer, wrote a post for Herb Companion that is full of ideas of how to incorporate significant herbs throughout the day from flowers to food and even favors.

We'll see what she thinks.

In the meantime, Baby calls. 

Menu Meal Choices...

My mom thought of this, but we couldn't find it at the time and leave it up to Paper-Source to read my mind. I wanted to use little stamps of animals to designate meal choices for the wait staff to know what to serve my guests. It would have been a lot cuter and more 'me' than stickers that said 'lamb' and 'fish'...I don't know how this would work for all cultures as they don't include lamb/goat, BUT that's for another day. Check out the link to purchase and see scale, etc.

Wedding Pics

We've been married just over a month. We're starting to write thank you's and are still opening beleated gifts. Technically, not belated as guests have one year to give a gift to the happy couple. I find myself speaking in the terms of the royal 'we' more and more. In addition, I seem to stumble on my words when remembering I have a new last name...(not officially, but more on that later).

As I said in my last post, the wedding was fantastic and a whilrwind of activity. From what I've heard, guests enjoyed themselves, the food was great and the music helped keep everyone moving. Our friends serenaded us with our song, "Tell Me" by Sara Evans. My cousin's and sister wowed our guests with a Bollywood routine to "Desi Girl". I have no idea where it came from, but it was perfect with a combination of Hindi and English. During the traditonal garba (Gujarati Folk Dance), I snuck out and changed into the beautiful gold lenga choli that my Groom purchased for me earlier this year. Here are a few highlights of the day:

Escort Card Display

Here's the escort cards we made.  I'll post other pictures when I'm not running around like a crazy person!

Escort Cards

You know how they say "it takes a village" to raise a child? I think it takes one to prepare for a wedding.  I am very lucky to have the greatest friends and family (and future family) coming together to make this event a very personalized, memorable and creative part of our lives.  

Groom, MOG, MOH and I got together to make escort card holders for the reception.  We got the idea from a bride in California that made paper accordion holders for her guests.  We enlarged the idea and made them fit the look of our wedding and got to use the paper that's in my inspiration board.  I can't wait to do a comparison of the two to see how everything in my head actually plays out.  

We don't have too much left to do. I'm going a bit crazy this week with the goal of being done by Memorial Day weekend so we can enjoy the week leading up to the wedding.  Our last 'large' task is writing out the escort card envelopes and assigning guests to their tables. Most of that's been done, but we're in final stages of approval from MOG, my parents and one another!   

Pictures coming soon.

Tasting Results are in!

Last night, Groom, F&MOB and MOG along with Groom's sister went to our tasting at Meson Sabika in Naperville.  Groom and I already love, love, love the food at this place.  We had to choose 10 items from the lists of menus to try out.  We were torn between serving all Tapas and a mix of Tapas and Traditional.  As a group, we decided that if our reception is going to be at a Spanish Tapas restaurant, there better be some Tapas on the table.  We were most surprised by the couscous that is served with the lamb chops.  There was a strong cumin and something else flavor that was just fantastic.  Here are the winners:

Tapas

Berenjena Con Queso

Grilled eggplant with roasted red peppers, fennel & Spanish onions, asparagus spears, goat cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette.

Pollo Al Curry

Chicken curry salad with grapes & celery

Queso De Cabra 

Oven-baked goat cheese with tomato basil sauce & garlic bread.

Pincho De Solomillo

Beef tenderloin with horseradish sour cream & caramelized red onions

Entree

Tilapia Marinada

Marinated Tilapia filet served with sauteed spinach and artichoke hearts with yellow plum tomato vinaigrette & lemon butter sauce.

Lamb Chops

Grilled lamb chops served with couscous, Portobello mushrooms, an onion potato cake and drizzled with an herbed garlic wine sauce

151 Days to Go

The dresses were a bit more orange in person

I have entered the 6 month frenzy.  I ordered bridesmaid dresses yesterday from House of Brides in Chicago.  All the girls are wearing Coral Bari Jay Style 810.  The final dresses will flatter all their body types and work with the overall East Indian/American wedding look.  While I was at the dress shop, I found my new favorite accessory. I resisted the impluse purchase since it was silver and rhinestones and there's NO silver on my dress. I am going to look for something similar in gold and will post when I find it (or make it myself?)

This week we have to finalize a tasting menu so that we can go next week with MOG and my parents and Groom to try out a few things.  We're hosting the reception at a Spanish tapas place and until recently have been gung ho about the traditional menu option for some reason.  I am hoping that can morph into a tapas meal instead.   

Next on the list- Invitations and Tuxedo hunting...I might want to nail down my accessories while I'm at it too. 

Songs for your Reception

A friend is getting married soon and put a call out for ideas for Father/Daughter and Mother/Son songs to dance to. We plan on combining the numbers in the interest of time and guests' attention spans. That got me thinking about music in general and how I've deprived you of my thoughts on music. If there was a way to include movie clips, I'm sure Groom would eat that up, however, lucky for us all, we won't be doing that. Maybe soundtrack music will be our compromise. Here are random lists for different parts of your reception. 

Father/Daughter; Mother/Son Dance:

Unforgettable-Nat King Cole & Natalie King Cole
Your Song- Garth Brooks
Thank You - Dido

I'll Always Love You- Whitney Houston OR Dolly Parton
Have I Told You Lately - Van Morrison

First Dance Songs:

Hallelujah, I Love Her So - Ray Charles
This Kind of Love - Sister Hazel
Tell Me - Sara Evans
Sweetest Thing - U2
The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra

Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
At Last - Etta James (Short and to the point)
Making Memories of Us - Keith Urban
Sweet Thing- Van Morrison

Bridal Party Introduction:

Beautiful Day - U2
Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root
Everybody - Sister Hazel

Music to Cut Your Cake to:

It Had to Be You (Instrumental) - Harry Connick, Jr.
Love & Marriage - Frank Sinatra

I'm a Believer - The Monkees or SmashMouth

If You Wanna Be Happy - Jimmy Soul
Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan (obviously if you have an Ice Cream cake...)

Songs to Toss for the Groom to Toss your Garter:

Love Song for No One - John Mayer

Lot of Leavin' Left to Do - Dierks Bentley

Just Can't Get Enough - Depeche Mode

Nothing But A Good Time - Poison

Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake

Songs to Toss the Bouquet:

Settlin' - Sugarland
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) - Beyonce
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

Beautiful Girl - INXS
Wishin' & Hopin' - Ani DiFranco

You Can't Hurry Love - Dixie Chicks

Songs to Get Your Guests Up to Speed on your Relationship while Watching a Video Montage: 

Good Things - BoDeans

Better Together- Jack Johnson

I'm Your's - Jason Mraz

If I Had a Million Dollars - Barenaked Ladies

My Best Friend - Tim McGraw

Who Says You Can't Go Home - Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles

Somebody -  Depeche Mode

Forever and Ever, Amen - Randy Travis

Somebody Like You - Keith Urban

In short, look through your music collection and pick out music you and Groom like.  An artist you like has most likely written an appropriate song for you to dance to with your father or for you to rock out with your Groom or any of the other traditions receptions include.   If neither of you are music buffs, enlist your friends who are....we love this kind of stuff! 

My Wedding Inspiration Board UPDATE!

Here's a part of my Inspiration Board. I change it from time to time as I find things that catch my eye or as I refine my thoughts.   As of now, we're STILL negotiating flowers.  Technically I'm on 'break' til January 1, so it's fine.  I put this together using Picasa which made it very easy. 

I found a bridesmaid dress style I LOVE, Bari Jay 810.  I am giving the girls three choices, in the event the MOH wants to go with the other style (the deep v w/ open back shown in purple) It comes in every color imaginable, and I've chosen coral. It's not Bears Orange, it's more subtle, so I can play up the tangerine with the flowers, cake, and stationary.  

  

Menu Idea.

I can't take credit for this idea, Groom and I were talking about the favors and centerpieces (mostly his frustration of wedding stuff ad nauseam) but he thought we could print small menus and put them inside the tea tin tops and put those on the tables. That way people have to interact to look at them (there will only be two per table). We're looking to do small centerpieces with votive holders and possibly a tall interesting looking vase for a candle.

Groom had a tonsilectomy so I'll either write a lot or nothing at all in the next week. It all depends on how he's dealing with the aftermath. So far, he's doing fine and just dealing with the pain. I'll see if we have any more genius moments this week.

Menu Card

I have a while before I have to think about menu cards, BUT, I randomly saw an add for paperandmore.com so I clicked and found this Morrocon inspired "Eccentric Menu" They are about $1.50 a piece but I'm thinking I can make something like this for much less. Maybe using the same stamps from paper-source.com as I'm using for the invitations to tie it all together. Ideas welcome.

English Wedding Traditions

I've been reading up on English wedding traditions to find a way to incorporate the majority of Groom's ethnicity into our wedding plans. I have learned that it is traditional for the bride to receive a decorated horseshoe (a charm might do these days) as a sign of good luck. I think the Irish have borrowed that custom as well (good thing he's part Irish!).

It appears that most English customs are what have influenced American wedding customs, so I probably won't have to do that much by way of finding something 'English'.

My latest dilemma is place cards. I originally planned on just escort cards (the guests need to know where they're sitting, right?) Then I learned that I have to indicate EACH guest's entree preference not how many want what dish by table. So far, my best thought has been to color code the favors. This will be time consuming....so would place cards though. I am guessing I'll just either order square tins for the tea and customize using my computer or use stickers on the back of the escort cards to indicate meal preference. Groom is not a fan of all the stickers I seem to want to use. I think he tunes in and out while I'm talking about these 'problems' in the first place. Any ideas?

Progress Update...

We're making progress on favors/centerpieces/reception decorations. I plan on enlisting the help of my family to make garlands out of carnations and other hearty flowers to frame the entrance way to the pavilion. (it's a glass encased pavilion, but that's what they call it). Then we'll have large framed fabric boards with tags indicating each guest's table assignment. I saw something in a magazine that has served as my inspiration. I found some poppy and red specialty paper from India at Paper-Source which is also where I ordered all my paper for the invitations. I'm making those myself and spending under $250 for 175 invitations. I will put up a picture once I have a complete suite ready. I want to use tea tins from Harney & Sons and the tea as favors for my guests that I'll put into little tins with the help of my bridesmaids. A good friend of Groom's is also a beekeeper on the side, so we'll treat our guests to locally grown honey to sweeten their tea! If anyone has ideas on what flowers will work in an orange tea tin, please let me know!!!!

Guest Seating Display

I plan on using foam board from Office Depot and a single mast easel to display the table arrangements for guests to view. I will also need ribbon and card stock to back the lists. The lists will be in alphabetical order with table number listed across from each guest's name...much like the table of contents of a book. We have 300+ names to post so I may make two boards (in addition to a mini binder organized both by guest and by table for the venue manager). We'll also have table numbers at each table to connect the chart to the table and possibly individual place cards at each seat to indicate meal preference. I really want to put little wooden chicken or cows on a stick at each setting, but I think Groom would frown upon this. :)

I'm still working on the fabric painting. I will get that up next week.

Floor Seating?

UK based Shenai Weddings has a neat idea for a very Indian themed set up. Why not put guests on the floor? They do it India, why not here? This idea includes floor pillows that your guests will thank you for. Very colorful and a neat way to incorporate the lavish Moghul reclining style of relaxing. I don't think this will work for my crowd, but maybe for those 'young people' or even kids tables. If you need to set up tables on the dance floor, this is an easy way set up to tear down to make room for the music. Alternatively, this would also be a good use of pillows for a mendhi or engagement party. Again, assuming your guests can get up just as easily as they sat down on these colorful cushions :)

To set this up, get lots of floor pillows, small tables and TONS of fabric. You could also use old sari's. You know, the one's that your mom insists someone will get use out of someday....well my mom says this all the time. Maybe you can borrow her's.

Sweets...

Indian food is not always about extremes, but to the untrained tounge, it can taste that way. While we won't be including Indian food as a way to express our style, we might include Indian Desserts (don't worry, we're still going to have cake, more on that later). Tahoora will box and ship them to you to share with your guests. The Motichur (Mo-ti-churr) Ladoos are my favorite. They're sugary sweet, made from a gram flour and will definitely match the colors we've chosen for our wedding. There are assorted sweet varieties available and would make a nice touch to a dessert table. I am hoping to find a baker who can incorporate these sweets into the design of my cake. Not IN the cake, just part of it...in place of those flowers that separate the tiers, most likely.

So Far

I will organize all these thoughts in a much more sensical manner over the coming weeks...however just get you started:

Here's the order I'm approaching this event:

1. Discuss and set a budget together...then do what you need to do to stick to it!

www.theknot.com/budgeter is useful in the determining the traditional breakdown of a wedding. If you're profecient with a spreadsheet software, it will work just as well. If you two haven't talked about finances already, this would be a wonderful time to explore your relationship with money and expectations for the future.

2. Think about how many guests to invite. Make sure you're using the same glossary of terms.

For example: immediate family means 100 people (my parents are each one of six children) to me and it means 5 people to my fiance.

3. Think of the big picture.

Black Tie at the country club or a casual beach or forest preserve wedding? I found it helpful to write down 3-6 words indicating what I wanted our guests to feel/think/see when they walked in the door. Then I asked him to do the same.

4. Solicit specific information from the groom.

My Groom tends to get overwhelmed by the details. I asked him to pick one or two elements that he cared most about: the reception venue and menu. Based on his input about what type of food & cake shape/designs he likes, I can build the rest of the event.

5. Now, with 300 people in attendance, I am NOT trying to spend his money.

I'm always looking for ways to cut back without sacrifcing style. Visit websites through your airlines, credit cards, etc to make purchases to either earn cash back (Chase Leisure Rewards, AmEx, Discover, just to name a few) or miles (American Airlines & United).