Back to Basics...wedding stuff

Cadiz12 is planning her wedding to H while working full time. She's got the basics down, but is a self proclaimed procrastinator. Since I'm not working full time yet and itching to work on some kind of project, I've adopted her wedding (as long as she lets me, that is).

Recently we were talking about what to do about the 'Getaway' or the post ceremony toss of stuff. You know that time after the ceremony where guests line up, blow bubbles, throw rice, birdseed, shaped sugar heart rice or even light up sparklers. Bubbles may stain clothing and end up in the hands of mostly small children which would detract from the overall effect you may have been aiming for. Contrary to popular belief, birds won't choke on rice; it is more likely your guests will slip and fall. Birdseed can attract birds (and their poop) before your party is over. The sugar rice is a nice alternative in that it dissolves in the rain, but it might just get sticky if thrown indoors. Cadiz informs me that sparklers are illegal in the State of Illinois so that won't work.

I've read about brides using dried flower buds on theknot. Herbs and Flowers have held meaning for various brides around the world. Here's a selected list of flowers/herbs and their meanings from iFlorist:

Almond- Virginity & Fruitfulness
Allspice - Worth Beyond Beauty
Apricot Blossom - Timid Love
Cinnamon - Love and Beauty
Clove - Dignity and Restraint
Fennel - Strength
Jasmine (white) - Amiability & Cheerfulness
Lavender - Constancy
Lotus - Mystery & Truth
Rosemary - Fidelity & Loyalty
Spearmint - Warmth of Sentiment
Tulip - Symbol of Perfect Lover
Yarrow - Healing
Here's the rest of the list

I vote for Dried Jasmine Flower Buds or Lavender Rice both available through wedding/craft vendors on line. Both are inexpensive, smell yummy and organic - no messy clean up! Since she's getting married in the same venue as the reception, guests will be able to enjoy the scent for the evening. Either scent can be incorporated into the rest of wedding details including invitations, flower arrangements, favors and decor quite easily. The jasmine would be a nice nod to Cadiz12's Godmother (my aunt) who is an avid flower gardener. I am leaning towards Jasmine since we are Indian, and not French...not that it would matter either way, because H could be French, but he could also hate Lavender (still waiting for the verdict).

Jasmine can be quite potent so it might be nice to make a blend of dried buds/herbs to create a signature wedding scent. Using a thali, stainless steal platter with raised edges, to display a variety of selected herbs and their meanings, guests could select their own combination of wishes to bestow on the bride and groom. An alternative is to mix them together and indicate on the program what the individual ingredients symbolize. Author, Geraldine Adamich Laufer, wrote a post for Herb Companion that is full of ideas of how to incorporate significant herbs throughout the day from flowers to food and even favors.

We'll see what she thinks.

In the meantime, Baby calls. 

Surprise C-Section

Doc T1 and Doc T2 (yup, same first names) had alternated examining me for the weeks leading up to my due date. Doc T2 said that Baby's head was down at least a month in advance. My due date came and went with no sign of Baby. I was HUGE, I might add. Doc T1 examined me the following Monday and at my instance, checked the position of Baby for good measure. He looked up at me and said,

"You know the baby's breech, right?"

"WHAT??!? Does this mean I need a C-Section?"

A combination of anger, fear, anxiety and even a (tiny) bit of relief washed over me. First of all, how the heck couldn't Doc T2 tell the difference between her bottom and her increasingly off the charts head? Isn't he in the business of babies? I had spent my pregnancy wrapping my head around the idea of hee-hee-hoo breathing, pushing and chomping on ice while my husband said the nicest things he'd ever read off a handout from our childbirth class. Now I had to think about someone cutting my tummy AND uterus open to pull out my child.

Would Husband be present (still saying those nice things from class)? Would my future babies have to be born this way? Would it hurt? Where would they make the incision? How long will it take? Did this make me less of a woman?

As the Doc T1 answered my questions, I started to calm down a bit. We didn't talk about my 'womanhood' as much as the technical details - I'd be in somewhat of a twilight state and Husband could be right next to me while a curtain would separate us from my lower half.  It would take about 15 minutes for them to take Baby out and a little while longer for me to regain sensation while the pain meds would kick in. In the event my water broke before surgery, I would most likely wait it out or have an emergency c-section depending on how my contractions were going.

This all sounded reasonable. I can do this. This won't be that bad.

Off I went to clean, pack, inform family, etc. I had passed the point of sleeping comfortably in bed and found the most tolerable position was propped up on the couch in the living room...which is where I was settling into around 1 am just as I felt a gush of a sweet smelling fluid. I yelled repeatedly for Husband. When I told him my water broke, he asked me to make sure I hadn't just peed in my pants. REALLY? This is when normal people would grab their bags and jump in the car and go. Husband decided to spend 30 minutes getting ready. It felt like an hour. I have no idea what he needed to do, but I was 3 minutes from taking the car and driving myself to the hospital. There were words exchanged, but I won't bore you with those details. Since Baby's head wasn't down, there was nothing plugging the dam, so to speak. I was like a leaky faucet. I had started having contractions and was still walking, talking, breathing but I couldn't feel Baby moving.

Once we arrived at the hospital, I waddled my way into the Labor and Delivery Unit. At this point, things are starting to hurt. I have to answer a lot of questions. Nurse took a blood sample. A lot of people seemed to want to look 'down there' to make sure my water had really broken. Nurse returns with blood test results and says, "Interesting," and waits for Doc T2 (he was on call) and Anesthesiologist to discuss. More questions. hee-hee-hoo More pain. Anesthesiologist informs me that my platelet count has dropped below what they would consider safe for an epidural. hee-hee-hooooooo Essentially, I was at risk for bleeding out by not clotting fast enough. heeeeee-heeeee-hooooooo My other option was to be 'put under' general anesthesia. Given my increasing state of panic and that it was the lesser of two evils, I agreed to being put under. Husband and I barely had any time to process what was happening. Neither one of us knew where they were taking me or that this was it. In what seemed like 10 minutes, the population of my triage room had tripled and they started wheeling me out of the room.  He kissed me 'goodbye' and said he'd see me when I woke up.

If I believed in alien abductions, this is what it would feel like. Everyone had a mask on, I only saw silhouettes with lights behind them. I was wheeled into an even brighter, super sterile operating room. Unfortunately Husband was not allowed in the OR since the situation had escalated to an emergency. I was fighting back tears. This is no time to cry. I'm about to be a mom. There's no crying in baseball. The over-sized digital clock said 3:59 am. Someone said something about a catheter and Anesthesiologist told me to relax and just breathe in some oxygen. This might be an only child household. Just like that, I was out.

I woke up and saw Husband was sitting in the corner snuggling a small, kind of bald (by Indian standards) doll. As I marveled at Baby, I registered excruciating pain. There is a small window of time between anesthesia wearing off and whatever super-duper pain med kicking in. As Nurse connected the drip, she said to push the little button to release the meds. I was all over that button like a gamer playing Halo. If it didn't suck already, Nurse pushed down on my uterus to ensure it was shrinking and going back to it's proper place.    


Couldn't this wait until the pain meds actually entered my system? Are you really sorry? I don't think so.


The rest of a day is a hazy blur of semi consciousness and lots of visitors. I've not posted any pictures of myself in the hospital for a reason. A woman after a C-Section isn't pretty. I was a hot, puffy mess. My incision was actually the only 'pretty' thing on me. Doctor T2 was a perfectionist and had put me back together with a virtually seamless reminder of my first baby. Now, three months later, I have 10 lbs to lose and 1/2 of my incision is invisible. I'm sad Husband and I will never experience delivery the ol' fashioned way, but if it means that we're better able to care for baby afterwards, it's all good. 

Trend Setting....

I love Paper Source....I love Paper Source....I love Paper Source.  Of course they'd roll out a whole India Collection 11 days before the wedding.  There's even a Rajastani paisley print that would have been PERFECT for our big day.

I have also noticed a lot of coral this season and the one shouldered dresses are making a strong statement.... Maybe I should have considered working in wedding fashion planning.  

This week has been tough. I've been up really late most nights and getting up early since I am gainfully employed.  We're hoping to get the last of our projects completed this week.....

Still left on the list:

• Memory Locket
  
• Escort Cards
  
• Ceremony Programs (Thank goodness for Kinko's and Adobe InDesign)
  
• Wedding Day/weekend Timeline tweaking....Special Thanks to Luci for spending A LOT of time on this project with us.
  
• Final Meeting with the Venue on Sunday!!! 
• Politely explaining to friends why we're not encouraging non relationshippy date bringing
• Sanely attempting to arrange tables so that all the screamers (read small children under 5) are in the same spot, far and away from the sweetheart table, bar and speakers.

We're also trying to finalize songs...we had a good list of stuff but then we heard something new (well not really new) just new perspective.  

Sister Hazel's "In the Moment" from Lift for our parent/child dance... I was driving in the car today and heard it and I literally got goosebumps.  

Celebrate Generously

Everyone registers for gifts and that is a daunting task, just ask Groom! I wanted to include a way to give to our favorite causes since we're older and have a lot of stuff already. While we registered for gifts the old fashioned way, we did so through Wedding Channel which allows a percentage of the purchase to go to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Groom picked the cause since one of his close buddies (and groomsman) has two boys living with the condition.

I then learned you can register for gifts to charity in lieu of actual gifts through the I Do Foundation. You can select an existing partner, or suggest your own not-for-profit. Read on to learn more!

Now you can support your favorite charity by registering with the I Do Foundation. From honeymoons to invitations to wedding gifts to charitable wedding favors, the I Do Foundation allows couples and their guests to make wedding-related purchases that generate donations for charity.

The I Do Foundation's Donation Registry service also makes it easy for guests to make donations in lieu of gifts. All of these services are available free of cost at www.IDoFoundation.org. Check it out today, and be sure to suggest your favorite charity as the beneficiary of your charitable wedding.

My Wedding Inspiration Board UPDATE!

Here's a part of my Inspiration Board. I change it from time to time as I find things that catch my eye or as I refine my thoughts.   As of now, we're STILL negotiating flowers.  Technically I'm on 'break' til January 1, so it's fine.  I put this together using Picasa which made it very easy. 

I found a bridesmaid dress style I LOVE, Bari Jay 810.  I am giving the girls three choices, in the event the MOH wants to go with the other style (the deep v w/ open back shown in purple) It comes in every color imaginable, and I've chosen coral. It's not Bears Orange, it's more subtle, so I can play up the tangerine with the flowers, cake, and stationary.  

  

Collecting Wedding (or any event) Photos with Flikr!

I have been trying to figure out a good way to collect guest shots....thought about leaving a box of blank disks with pre-addressed envelopes, then realized people are slackers about getting photos off their cameras onto disks.  This might solve my problem as long as I include clear directions and maybe even my e-mail address in case guests have questions.  Flickr has a fantastic set of tools available for the DIY wedding album builder.  You can create a group and then invite your guests to join the group and post pictures from your event.  You then have access to all their pictures to enhance the collection you're slowing starting to amass.  

EEEEEKKKK!!!! 204 days to go!

I logged into myknot.com site to check my to do list and realized I'm a bit behind on a few things. Here I thought I was sooo ahead of the game, but somehow I have fallen behind! I have been sidetracked by stationary and some how created extra holiday projects for myself. I am going to use the next few weeks in November to pick out bridesmaid dresses, print invitations & find a florist....oh and reserve a block of rooms for my out of town guests. AHHHHHH!!!!!!

At least I'm organized.

In other news, I recently started a new job and it's going pretty well. I also moved to the city, so that's been a bit stressful. I think Groom and I are trying to figure out how to merge our personal styles and even daily routines. Tucker and Luke have adjusted pretty well to the condo. Tucker's been protecting Luke from getting onto the balcony (we're four floors up and Luke has NO idea).

I feel better now. Thanks for listening. :)

Bachelorette Party

I apologize for slacking on the posts.  My Bachelorette party is coming up (along with Bridal Shower).  I am hoping to knock them out in one weekend so my traveling friends don't have to travel twice and still get to have fun.   I must say I love being a woman right about now considering that Groom's 1/2 of the bridal party hasn't seem to got their act together for his big night out. It appears he'll be going to Vegas with a few peeps, but no all out bash that a younger version of me might worry about.  At this point, I almost want him to have a big night out so he can just be a dude. I totally trust him (that's why I'm marrying him, among other reasons).  

I digress; My 1/2 of the bridal party kicks arse...but in general women do, don't we? I do not want exotic dancers of any variety and would like to remember the night, those are my top two requests.  In my research, I've found a few places/programs/things of interest:

Pampered Bride is a network of vendors in Chicago that host events for brides to check out local vendors. One of their sponsors is Flirty Girl Fitness with locations in Toronto and Chicago, they're an upscale women's social club. While I have no idea what kind of bachelorette party I have in my future, I know I do NOT want to do things that require a checklist with strangers and shots. Flirty Girl has packages available starting at $40 per person AND you can add on things like manicures and pedicures for an additional fee. You and the girls can take lessons on lap dancing, pole dancing, belly dancing....you get the point. How fun is that? 

There's also Ethyl's Chocolate Lounge, with locations in Nevada (mostly Las Vegas) and Illinois. You and your girls can rent out the whole place and throw a chocolate party complete with truffles, chocolate and cheese fondue! Who doesn't like chocolate? 

I personally like the idea of going to Boys Town in Chicago and hanging out with catty drag queens at the Kit Kat Lounge. Dining with Madonna, Brittney, and Cher (impersonators, of course) sounds like a riot.   

Any other ideas for a fun girl's night out? Thoughts welcome. 

Wedding Planning Software

My Groom is fantastic!!!! I told him I wanted some kind of software to organize the guest list, reception details, ceremony details and attendants...not to mention the tuxes, favors, budget and everything else. He found Elm Software's "I Do" software that is available for a 30 day trial download. We went ahead and got the permanent version since we LOVED it. There are a few things I'm still figuring out and would change, but for the most part it works for what we need it to do. I can assign seats, send out invitations, track gifts and multiple events all in one program.

FREE Templates

Click on the title link to find a list of downloadable templates by Minneapolis based Russell & Hazel. They make a FABULOUS wedding binder (retails for $75) and you can download the lists for FREE. They've thought of every list you haven't even thought of making yet. How fun is that?

So Far

I will organize all these thoughts in a much more sensical manner over the coming weeks...however just get you started:

Here's the order I'm approaching this event:

1. Discuss and set a budget together...then do what you need to do to stick to it!

www.theknot.com/budgeter is useful in the determining the traditional breakdown of a wedding. If you're profecient with a spreadsheet software, it will work just as well. If you two haven't talked about finances already, this would be a wonderful time to explore your relationship with money and expectations for the future.

2. Think about how many guests to invite. Make sure you're using the same glossary of terms.

For example: immediate family means 100 people (my parents are each one of six children) to me and it means 5 people to my fiance.

3. Think of the big picture.

Black Tie at the country club or a casual beach or forest preserve wedding? I found it helpful to write down 3-6 words indicating what I wanted our guests to feel/think/see when they walked in the door. Then I asked him to do the same.

4. Solicit specific information from the groom.

My Groom tends to get overwhelmed by the details. I asked him to pick one or two elements that he cared most about: the reception venue and menu. Based on his input about what type of food & cake shape/designs he likes, I can build the rest of the event.

5. Now, with 300 people in attendance, I am NOT trying to spend his money.

I'm always looking for ways to cut back without sacrifcing style. Visit websites through your airlines, credit cards, etc to make purchases to either earn cash back (Chase Leisure Rewards, AmEx, Discover, just to name a few) or miles (American Airlines & United).